Definiton

Define this for my mind.
A despicable act towards
an unknown conscience.
Or maybe it was known,
but fear won’t allow admittance.
Allowance, was it allowed?
Whispers shout,
You can’t blame the urge.
Subconscious actions played a part
In the instant you can’t define.

My tongue twists in knots
Anger grips my throat
Threatening to break what little
resistance I have left.

Resistance, resist,
resisting, refuting,
Syllables collapse,
traipse past my eyes
My vision is sound
It hears the blood
running through my choked
grasp, running.

My Brother

My brother
is silent.
He does not 
ask heart-wrenching questions.
He comforts me
with sibling rivalry
Letting me know
that nothing
has changed.

At least,
with him.

A Brave Goodbye – To New Adventures

Dear lovely, supportive, and loyal Red Heroes,

I am nearly in tears whilst saying this, but it must be done. I have had a foreboding feeling for awhile now, one that I have been able to suppress, but I can no longer push it down. Red Hero Inspiration has been such an ambitious, integrated part of my life for the past 3 and a half years, which is what makes it so hard to do this, but I must.

I am officially retiring The Red Hero Inspiration. I feel that I have lost the original direction for this blog, as I have grown from the girl I was when I started this to the young woman I am now. I am nearly an entirely different person. I have shed new skin, and, unfortunately, I was not lucky enough to have been able to mold Red Hero along with my growth.

This, however, does not mean that it is the end. I will continue to upkeep A Whimsical Ghost, as I am never far from writing a poem. Nor does it assume that I will never again start a blog. It only means that, in this time of my life, I am not at a current place where I feel a blog is wanted as a part of my life. Red Hero Inspiration was an outlet for me that was not granted to me at that time of my life, but, luckily, I have found an outlet that is permanent.

This also does not mean that my It list will be set aside on a shelf, but quite the contrary. As of right now, my It list is evolving and shedding a new skin, too. As I had started Red Hero Inspiration with my It list, I feel it is only right to end it with such.

THE IT LIST

Acquiring an SLR
Acquiring a Polaroid
Finishing ‘The Notebook Theme’
Writing a novel
Seeing Paris in the Spring
Acquiring an old-fashion typewriter
Watching all of Judy Garland’s films
Singing in front of a group
Not speaking one word for a whole day
Learning Spanish, Italian, and French
Riding a Moped
Riding a horse with no saddle
Reading Kon Tiki
Creating my own personal library
Filling out a journal
Reading the Bible cover to cover
Reading Pilgrim’s Progress
Capturing love in a photograph
Getting a job
Moving out
Spending a day at the Hawthorne District
Spending a day at the Saturday Market
Tattooing my side with meaning
Riding the bus
Finishing a jawbreaker
Reading 20 books written about Jacqueline Kennedy
Reading “She Said Yes”
Watching the greatest movies filmed in 1939 and reading each film’s book
Watching all Alfred Hitchcock movies
Doing a 365 project
Acquiring a DSLR
Finishing “A Collection of Thoughts”
Seeing the Bodies exhibit
Taking care of a Bonsai tree
Publishing my Poetry as a book
Meeting a Person for Each Birthday of a Year
Opening my Own Gallery of my Best Work in Photography
Taking Art Classes to learn the technical side of Painting and Drawing
Reading at least one book of all the author’s on the big painting in Barnes and Noble cafes
Creating a Heart shape with Polaroid photography I take
Reading all of Shakespeare & watching one movie for each
Spending a day at Ikea with my love
Watching all of Jane Seymour and Charlton Heston‘s movies
Seeing both of the homes I grew up in years from now
Having Kevin teach me how to use chopsticks
Completing the Marilyn Monroe mosaic puzzle
Filling a jar full of origami stars for each wish or prayer
Learning each of my heritage’s language
Attending a Midnight premiere
Being at Time Square, New York on New Year’s Eve
Being at the Beach when it Snows
Reading every book on the BBC 100 book list
Not adding 1 item until 7 are crossed off
Having a Pen Pal from a different country
Listing at least 3 things I am thankful for each day for a year
Visiting Claude Monet’s house
Throwing a message in a bottle to the sea
Playing tictactoe in the sand on the beach
Throwing a dart at a map of the world and going where it lands
Riding an elephant
Visiting South and North Carolina
Finding the old truck in the article my grandmother gave to me and taking a photo of it
Participating in Relay for Life
Eating breakfast at Tiffany’s in New York
Reading (at least) 1 book in a different language
Visiting my great grandmother and great grandfather’s graves
Creating a 50-line poem with a photo associated to each line
Creating a daisy chain
Sending a post script to Postsecret
Writing a poem in another language
Being a part of the Holi Festival
Reading 20 books about Ghandi
Reading all of the books on the wall at 5th and Hall

I am going to miss this blog dearly. I have learned so much through reflection by looking through these old posts, and it truly is amazing to see the difference something seemingly unimportant can make in someone’s life.

To new adventures. I love you all.

Sincerely and most heartbreakingly,

Red

The Red Hero Breathes New Life

Hello lovelies,

I am pleased to announce the rebirth of Red Hero. Though this blog still focuses mainly around my It List, I feel like it needs something else to help it steadily live on. I’ve pondered what I could do to help this blog (I’ve even thought of simply retiring it . . .) but before we meet our bitter end, I want to try one last thing.

Mondays;;  will focus primarily on traveling. Whether it be an adventure of my own or a dream I choose to share, this day will host a photo and possibly writing regarding traveling.

Wednesdays;; will be a day to share inspiration. This could be a video, a poem, a photo, art, or anything else I come to find (or you share with me) that inspires me and I wish to share with you.

Thursdays;; I will be writing a little something, or sharing a tidbit from whatever writing project I’m working on. Mostly it will just be more of my poetry.

Fridays;; on occasion, will focus on music. This will not be an every Friday habit. This will mainly be if I happen upon finding a song that is so hauntingly beautiful that it moves me to absolutely have to share it with you beautiful people.

I am going to try desperately to keep up with this. If this doesn’t work to inspire me to keep Red Hero running, I may have to take a hiatus. I suppose what my heart seems to be struggling with is two things: Time management, and losing sight of the purpose of this blog. I no longer see the purpose of posting day after day, probably because I’m hardly on the computer any longer. I will cry if I have to lay Red Hero to rest; it has been such a huge part of my life for so long, as have all of you.

What do all of you do when you’re feeling like this? Have you ever felt this way?

Red

Stare

175

I am: reworking.

Losing Steam

I think after this word project, I am never going to do another 365 project again. They drain me of any inspiration I have, and seem to overtake my Red Hero.

I also want to get back into devoting myself to this blog. I feel like I’ve lost steam for keeping it up and, quite frankly, I’ve become lazy with it (I blame the words.)

This next term of school will make everything so much easier to develop a schedule for this blog. I’m looking to makeover the blog, too, in the next week. Be prepared for some changes.

I love you all, and I haven’t forgotten a bit about you.

❤ Red

P.S. I need a dictionary.

super hero (Photo credit: demandaj)

174

I am: solid.

173

I am: awakening.

172

I am: this thought.