A Brave Goodbye – To New Adventures

Dear lovely, supportive, and loyal Red Heroes,

I am nearly in tears whilst saying this, but it must be done. I have had a foreboding feeling for awhile now, one that I have been able to suppress, but I can no longer push it down. Red Hero Inspiration has been such an ambitious, integrated part of my life for the past 3 and a half years, which is what makes it so hard to do this, but I must.

I am officially retiring The Red Hero Inspiration. I feel that I have lost the original direction for this blog, as I have grown from the girl I was when I started this to the young woman I am now. I am nearly an entirely different person. I have shed new skin, and, unfortunately, I was not lucky enough to have been able to mold Red Hero along with my growth.

This, however, does not mean that it is the end. I will continue to upkeep A Whimsical Ghost, as I am never far from writing a poem. Nor does it assume that I will never again start a blog. It only means that, in this time of my life, I am not at a current place where I feel a blog is wanted as a part of my life. Red Hero Inspiration was an outlet for me that was not granted to me at that time of my life, but, luckily, I have found an outlet that is permanent.

This also does not mean that my It list will be set aside on a shelf, but quite the contrary. As of right now, my It list is evolving and shedding a new skin, too. As I had started Red Hero Inspiration with my It list, I feel it is only right to end it with such.

THE IT LIST

Acquiring an SLR
Acquiring a Polaroid
Finishing ‘The Notebook Theme’
Writing a novel
Seeing Paris in the Spring
Acquiring an old-fashion typewriter
Watching all of Judy Garland’s films
Singing in front of a group
Not speaking one word for a whole day
Learning Spanish, Italian, and French
Riding a Moped
Riding a horse with no saddle
Reading Kon Tiki
Creating my own personal library
Filling out a journal
Reading the Bible cover to cover
Reading Pilgrim’s Progress
Capturing love in a photograph
Getting a job
Moving out
Spending a day at the Hawthorne District
Spending a day at the Saturday Market
Tattooing my side with meaning
Riding the bus
Finishing a jawbreaker
Reading 20 books written about Jacqueline Kennedy
Reading “She Said Yes”
Watching the greatest movies filmed in 1939 and reading each film’s book
Watching all Alfred Hitchcock movies
Doing a 365 project
Acquiring a DSLR
Finishing “A Collection of Thoughts”
Seeing the Bodies exhibit
Taking care of a Bonsai tree
Publishing my Poetry as a book
Meeting a Person for Each Birthday of a Year
Opening my Own Gallery of my Best Work in Photography
Taking Art Classes to learn the technical side of Painting and Drawing
Reading at least one book of all the author’s on the big painting in Barnes and Noble cafes
Creating a Heart shape with Polaroid photography I take
Reading all of Shakespeare & watching one movie for each
Spending a day at Ikea with my love
Watching all of Jane Seymour and Charlton Heston‘s movies
Seeing both of the homes I grew up in years from now
Having Kevin teach me how to use chopsticks
Completing the Marilyn Monroe mosaic puzzle
Filling a jar full of origami stars for each wish or prayer
Learning each of my heritage’s language
Attending a Midnight premiere
Being at Time Square, New York on New Year’s Eve
Being at the Beach when it Snows
Reading every book on the BBC 100 book list
Not adding 1 item until 7 are crossed off
Having a Pen Pal from a different country
Listing at least 3 things I am thankful for each day for a year
Visiting Claude Monet’s house
Throwing a message in a bottle to the sea
Playing tictactoe in the sand on the beach
Throwing a dart at a map of the world and going where it lands
Riding an elephant
Visiting South and North Carolina
Finding the old truck in the article my grandmother gave to me and taking a photo of it
Participating in Relay for Life
Eating breakfast at Tiffany’s in New York
Reading (at least) 1 book in a different language
Visiting my great grandmother and great grandfather’s graves
Creating a 50-line poem with a photo associated to each line
Creating a daisy chain
Sending a post script to Postsecret
Writing a poem in another language
Being a part of the Holi Festival
Reading 20 books about Ghandi
Reading all of the books on the wall at 5th and Hall

I am going to miss this blog dearly. I have learned so much through reflection by looking through these old posts, and it truly is amazing to see the difference something seemingly unimportant can make in someone’s life.

To new adventures. I love you all.

Sincerely and most heartbreakingly,

Red

Advertisements

The Red Hero Breathes New Life

Hello lovelies,

I am pleased to announce the rebirth of Red Hero. Though this blog still focuses mainly around my It List, I feel like it needs something else to help it steadily live on. I’ve pondered what I could do to help this blog (I’ve even thought of simply retiring it . . .) but before we meet our bitter end, I want to try one last thing.

Mondays;;  will focus primarily on traveling. Whether it be an adventure of my own or a dream I choose to share, this day will host a photo and possibly writing regarding traveling.

Wednesdays;; will be a day to share inspiration. This could be a video, a poem, a photo, art, or anything else I come to find (or you share with me) that inspires me and I wish to share with you.

Thursdays;; I will be writing a little something, or sharing a tidbit from whatever writing project I’m working on. Mostly it will just be more of my poetry.

Fridays;; on occasion, will focus on music. This will not be an every Friday habit. This will mainly be if I happen upon finding a song that is so hauntingly beautiful that it moves me to absolutely have to share it with you beautiful people.

I am going to try desperately to keep up with this. If this doesn’t work to inspire me to keep Red Hero running, I may have to take a hiatus. I suppose what my heart seems to be struggling with is two things: Time management, and losing sight of the purpose of this blog. I no longer see the purpose of posting day after day, probably because I’m hardly on the computer any longer. I will cry if I have to lay Red Hero to rest; it has been such a huge part of my life for so long, as have all of you.

What do all of you do when you’re feeling like this? Have you ever felt this way?

Red

Losing Steam

I think after this word project, I am never going to do another 365 project again. They drain me of any inspiration I have, and seem to overtake my Red Hero.

I also want to get back into devoting myself to this blog. I feel like I’ve lost steam for keeping it up and, quite frankly, I’ve become lazy with it (I blame the words.)

This next term of school will make everything so much easier to develop a schedule for this blog. I’m looking to makeover the blog, too, in the next week. Be prepared for some changes.

I love you all, and I haven’t forgotten a bit about you.

❤ Red

P.S. I need a dictionary.

super hero

super hero (Photo credit: demandaj)

Take Care of This Moment (Post Cinq) – Post Six-Hundred-Sixty-Three

“I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.” ~ Ghandi

To be completely honest I had to look this one up. I had a gist of what it could mean, but my idea was a humid mirror that you can’t see through. I looked up whatever else Ghandi said about it, and this is what stuck out to me.

God has given me no control over the moment following.

Something I’ve found is hard to practice is living in this moment. Living in the present. It’s hard not to think back on the past; what I could have done differently, what happened and the affect of it all. It’s also not easy to leave the future where it belongs: in Tomorrow. Especially lately with the changes at my current job, it’s very tempting to daydream about what could happen. How am I going to pay for these bills? Am I going to have to defer my loan a second time? So many possibilities; so many different aspects of what could possibly happen.

Pick the day. Enjoy it – to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come… The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present – and I don’t want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future.” ~ Audrey Hepburn

If I dwell too much on tomorrow or what happened yesterday, I will lose those precious few moments of today. I’ll lose the joy of seeing his smile. I’ll miss out on the pleasure of meeting a friendly stranger who alters my way of thinking.
For a moment I think back to just last July when all I did was live in this moment. I had come up to Portland to find a job and to enjoy my home. I went down to the Hawthorne district for the first time and met a guy named Ace. He was as short as I was. He was sweet, humble, and had an interesting perspective on things. We talked, browsed Powell’s while I waited for Chris to come meet me, and just enjoyed the moment. He was one of the most interesting people I have ever met, but what I remember most about that day is that I felt no fear. I did not allow myself to focus on tomorrow or yesterday. I simply enjoyed the spontaneous joy of what was happening. Once Chris came, we parted, and I haven’t seen nor spoken to Ace since. I’ll never forget the simplicity of the spontaneity, though.

I don’t do that anymore. I don’t just hop on a bus and go somewhere and enjoy the moment. I’m either too tired or busy. Where did that spontaneous enjoy-the-moment me go? I have no idea, but I want her back.

Don’t make the same mistake that 99% of us make. Don’t forget about today. Enjoy your child TODAY. They are growing. Enjoy your husband, your friends; love anything and everything and appreciate everything that God puts in your path, because you will never get anything like it again.

Everything is once. This is a one time moment that you can never get back. Take care of it. Make it something you’ll never forget; stories to tell your children, which will then create more moments for you all to remember. Never give up on a chance; never let it pass you by. Follow your gut, and if you have a moment to breathe, enjoy it. Hold his hand. Kiss her forehead. Laugh. Take a random trip to the beach.

Just do it.

Au revoir,

Gigi

Without Action You Aren’t Going Anywhere (Post Quatre) – Post Six-Hundred-Sixty-Two

It’s funny how it keeps turning out that these fundamentals have been on my mind long before I ever found the quote. Some of them have passed through my mind on and off while I toss them around and slowly apply them. Others I have implemented more recently through God opening my eyes.

As you guys know, I’ve been very adamant lately about chasing my dreams. I’m working towards a big item on my It list, I’ve been crossing more and more off of It, and I’m not letting anything slow me down. I’ve finally decided that I’m going to move forward and chase that dream I’ve timidly kept in the corner of my eye ever since I was a little girl.

I always tossed around the idea of becoming a writer. I mostly kept this to myself out of fear of being discouraged as many around me were in the habit of doing with anything that was not ‘traditional’ or ‘stable’. I tried photography for awhile – another unstable, nontraditional route, but I tried it. I do not regret this simply because it gave me the strength to stand against those who say “you can’t” without risking being discouraged from my first true love: writing.

I have flip-flopped back and forth many a time regarding my career. There are so many different aspects and scenarios to take into consideration that I veered away for quite awhile from deciding that path. I was afraid to take a step and make another mistake. This first mistake cost me a loan for $2,500 for something I didn’t even finish because I couldn’t afford to pay the rest myself.
For a year and nearly a half I’ve resented taking a step forward. So many what-ifs have popped into my head that it was frightening. I finally realized what a silly mistake I was making: I was letting my what-ifs run my life. Instead of praying and making a decision, I was letting my fear get in the way of what God wants for my life.
WHAT?! What is wrong with this picture?! Shouldn’t my fear be kicked in the rear with a loud ‘sayonara!’? I think yes.

So I fixed it. I prayed, and then I realized that what I was supposed to do was right in front of me the whole time. It’s something I’ve done with this blog for the past 3 years, and it’s something I’ve enjoyed ever since I was 5 years old and wrote my first ‘novels’ titled “My Horse Book” and “My Family Book” on printer paper. I should be WRITING. I should be a writer! God showed me that I was searching in all of the wrong places, and that He’d placed the desire in my heart this whole time.
So I went to the mall one day and bought a book for $5 called “How to Write What You Want and Sell What You Write” by Skip Press. Pretty much the best purchase I’ve made this year. I finished it within two weeks, and now I’m going back to college in the fall to study my Associate’s in order to get my Bachelor’s in either English, Literature, or Journalism. Why? Because I took action.

If you don’t try – if you don’t take action – you’ll never get anywhere. You’ll live in your dreams and let reality pass you by. You’ll never make an effort to see if it was what God has for you; if you have that desire, and you’re on the right path with Him, then maybe that’s a hint to take action.

Without action you aren’t going anywhere. Think about that. Without the man proposing, you wouldn’t be getting married. So without making an effort for your DREAM, it will never be anything but that: a dream.

Au revoir,

Gigi

Forgive and Let Go (Post Trois) – Post Six-Hundred-Sixty-One

Forgiving and letting go. I’m pretty sure this is one of the toughest things on that list for anyone who attempts it. For some of us, it may come more naturally. For others, it may never have even crossed their mind. Forgive and let go? What a silly thing.

For me, I tend to come by it naturally – depending on the wrong. It honestly depends on how badly I’ve been hurt. For the most part I’m like, “It’s all good. No worries.” And then there are other times where the fault or the harm is replayed through my mind regularly . . . until, finally, I give it to God.
Some people are like me. Some don’t let go of things for years, and become bitter, angry, and hateful, even. That’s never something I’ve quite understood. How can something be so harmful and hurtful that it sears you to the point where you cannot forgive or let go?

And then I was hurt.

To make a very long story short, I had been dating this guy for over a year. Right before our 1 year anniversary, God decided to move my family to a little town called Redmond. It worked out best for my family – and for myself. I became closer to God in many ways, and much stronger in His love. My boyfriend, on the other hand, strayed.
He ended up cheating on me with 3 girls. He had feelings for them all, and replaced me with them. His excuse was that he was ‘searching for me in others’. My heart became hardened, my trust was broken, and any hope for reconciliation with him was lost, and yet I still held onto it. Within weeks of me finding out what had been going on he proposed to me and me, being ‘hopeful’, accepted.
I lived in a lie with him for nearly another year. We planned, and plans were broken. I told myself I still loved him, that I had forgiven him, yet I couldn’t trust that he was telling me the truth. I treated him awfully in the end, and eventually broke it off. I realized I had feelings for someone else, and broke the engagement to the guy I didn’t love for the man I was beginning to.

The way I handled that whole thing was wrong. I lied to him. I told him I forgave him, and then treated him like dirt. I became bitter and angry towards him. I showed my lack of trust in ways I’m ashamed to think of. I did not forgive, and I did not let go.

Today, I’ve forgiven him. It took getting away from the situation for the healing process to begin. Slowly, I forgave. I’ll never trust him again, nor will I need to, but I forgive him of how he hurt me and I’ve let it go.

Imagine if I still held onto it right now. How would that affect my relationship? Years down the road, I would become a bitter, hateful old woman who brings up old wrongs instead of letting them lie in the past where they belong. I would focus on all the wrong and hurt in my life instead of the beauty that God has blessed me with.

I don’t know about you, but I’m hoping to be more like Betty White in my old years.

There’s something else I wanted to point something out. Notice that it says ‘Forgive and let go.’ Notice that it does not say ‘Forgive and forget.’ I don’t believe any of us are truly capable of forgetting how we’ve been hurt. I honestly think that we can never forget, but we can always let go. Letting go is a never-ending process. Every time that wrong pops up, we pray, give it to the Lord, and let go of it. I can never truly forget what he – or others – has done to me, but I can remember, smile, and let it go again. I don’t regret what has happened to me. I don’t regret the hurt I’ve gone through simply because I’ve been blessed enough, in retrospect, to learn from it.

So, let’s think about this. Sit down for a second (if you’re not already) and think about forgiving and letting go. Imagine your path. Remember you will be hurt time and time again.  What kind of person do you want to be? You are in control, and you can change yourself, but only through God. You can always be the elderly person with joy and forgiveness etched in their face; it’s never too late to try.

Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until one has something to forgive.

~ C.S. Lewis

Au revoir,

Gigi

You Are In Control (Post Deux) – Post Six-Hundred-Sixty

“The 3 C’s of life: choices, chances and changes. You must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change.” (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

You are in control.
You are in control.
You are in control.
You are in control.

Hm. I wonder what this could mean.

I suppose it depends on how you take it. How you read it. How it feels to you.
To me it doesn’t mean that I control everything that happens. It doesn’t mean that I get to go into control freak mode and do as I please so that everything will go as I like it. To me, it means that I control my actions. I am in control of my reactions, my thoughts, what I do, what I say, and only that. And that also means that I am in control of what I don’t do.

I am in control of myself. I am in control of the choices I make. That leaves no room for me to blame anyone else for the outcome of my own decisions. Which also leaves no room for excuses.

What I am NOT in control of is the outcome. I am not in control of outside factors. This relieves me of the stress of “did I not do everything I could?” As long as I control my own actions, mind my own decisions, and always strive to do God’s will rather than my own, I will always know that I did everything I could.

Another thing I am in control of: My happiness. No, it’s not my spouse. It’s me. My happiness depends on what I choose: to be happy or not.
Maybe I feel I don’t have enough. Maybe I feel I deserve more than what I have. Doesn’t this feeling make me unhappy?
What about this: The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have. Why not choose to make the best of everything I have? Making the best of the circumstances surrounding me that I cannot control in turn gives me control over my happiness.

"Understand that dealing with life is rea...

“Understand that dealing with life is really a matter of personal choice, so choose to be happy. Find joy in the simplest things, and see beauty in each person you meet. And when times are difficult, just remind yourself that… no pain comes to you witho (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

So, doesn’t this mean I’m in control of my daily decision of Christ’s way or my way? Yes. Whether I follow His way or not is my own fault. I cannot blame it on what happens in my life, or how busy I am, or how tired I am, or any other silly excuse I can come up with. It is my choice to make time for my relationship with Christ and, more often than not (which I hate admitting,) I choose not to make time for Him.

How selfish can I be? So what if I’m tired? Pick it up anyway. I’m in control of my body. I’m in control of my decisions, of my life, and this is what I choose: I choose to give the control over to Him. He is the one who needs to be in control, because He knows what’s best for me.

Now, what about our dreams. Think about it. Realistically, how often do we go after our dreams? Rarely. Slim to none. We come up with these excuses (there they are again) of why it won’t work. Logistics, we call them. Logically, you can’t support a family with just writing. Logically, you have a very slim chance of inventing something they will buy. Logically, your voice will not stand out among the thousands they hear.
Logically, I say try anyway. Dream anyway. You are in control of this chance. You are in control of trying to move forward, of giving it your all. You don’t know what the outcome will be, but no matter what you will know that you tried and made the choice to give it a chance to happen.
Logically, if you’re making the choice to give the control up to Jesus, and suddenly you have a desire to travel to some rural country, or a dream to start a heavy-duty project, maybe that’s a hint. Maybe that’s God telling you ‘this is your dream.’ Haven’t you heard that when you put Him first He instills the desires of His heart for your life in you? Instead of saying no, give it to Him and ask Him for an answer. You’re in control. Make the choice to give the dream a chance.

So, conclusion: I am in control of my actions. No one makes my choices for me, but I can make the choice to give them to God. I’m going to choose to be happy, no matter what’s going on around me because I make the best of everything I have. I’m going to dream anyway, no matter what logic says, but I’m always going to lay my dreams at the feet of God for Him to decide what is for me.

Simple enough?

Au revoir,

Gigi

Change Yourself (Post Un) – Post Six-Hundred-Fifty-Nine

 Changing yourself. Isn’t this one of the most important items on that list? To me, it’s one of the hardest. A lot of the time I am completely blind to what I do wrong. Lately, as I’ve noticed, that has been different, though. I have a little voice tugging at my heart telling me, “Change this. This is wrong.” I’m beginning to listen and take action within myself.

Leo Tolstoy once said, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” A bitter truth, don’t you think? We always promote change in the world. We vote in a new president (or don’t) every 4 years to change the way things are in our society. We set up donations and charities and all those beautiful things, but do we ever think of stopping to work on ourselves?

That would be selfish, right? To work on ourselves instead of others? To attempt to change our iniquities and negative aspects instead of others’? Think about this quote: “When you remember how hard it is to change yourself, you begin to understand what little chance we have of changing others.”

Change begins with us. I firmly believe this is one of the most misunderstood sayings these days. We believe it is meant to instill an action. It is meant to light a fire in us to work towards change around us. Volunteering, donating, etc. etc. What about this, though: What if it really means that it begins with changing ourselves? Not the actions we do, or the efforts we make, but literally about changing within ourselves?

Why, may I ask, is it so hard – and seemingly wrong – to focus long enough on our own problems and downfalls to promote a change within our hearts? For me, it’s hard to acknowledge that I can be so cruel and heartless, or that I can be selfish, or mean. It’s hard for me to admit to myself that I acted a certain way to hurt another. I don’t like hurting others. For others maybe it’s a prideful thing. Or maybe you’re just blind. I know as a teenager I was completely blind to a lot of my negative ways, and now in retrospect I see what God was trying to tell me: This. Is. Wrong.

So, what am I going to do? With all of this in mind I can’t just speak and not make an effort to do something. With this first fundamental I’ve already begun working towards changing myself. I’ve had this in mind for the past year, but it’s not something I’m ever going to forget.

There’s one last thing. How do you change yourself? It’s a simple answer that I’m sure some of you won’t like, won’t agree with, and possibly even be angry that I’m acknowledging. The only way to change yourself is through Jesus. The only way to change the inmost thoughts and actions of your heart is through God.

So how am I going to go about this? Nurture my beautiful relationship with the only Person who can change me for the good of everyone else around me.

Change Yourself

Change Yourself (Photo credit: AngSocialMed)

Au revoir,

Gigi

Three Years; Going Back to Basics – Post Six-Hundred-Fifty-Eight

Hello, darlings.
Can you believe that it’s almost been 3 years? I can’t. You all have been so wonderful to me; all so very inspiring. To those of you who have been here since the beginning: I appreciate and hold you all near and dear to my heart. To those who are newer, I hope you’ve enjoyed what you’ve partaken in thus far. You are all loved and appreciated greatly for all of your support.

Now, to explain the photo. Ghandi apparently wrote down 10 fundamentals for changing the world (as you can see.) I decided that, for my 3rd Red Hero anniversary, I’m going to write a post on each of these 10 fundamentals. I’m going to write about what they mean to me, and how I’m going to apply them to my daily life for the next year – along with the rest of my life.

So, basically, expect one post a day, starting tomorrow, for the next 10 days.

Au revoir,

Gigi

Carry On – Post Six-Hundred-Fifty-Seven

I’m thoroughly excited. I signed up for 2 fall classes. One regards poetry, and the other novel writing. I can’t wait to get back into school! How exciting it will all be.

I still haven’t decided what language I want to study for 2 years for my associates. Maybe I’ll do one of my heritage languages. I have so many to choose from. Portuguese, perhaps?

Red Hero will be 3 years old on the 18th. I do hope I don’t forget it this year and post something late. I don’t even know what I’m going to post, yet. I suppose I should start brainstorming . . .

Also, I bought a trunk for It. It’s a beautiful military trunk. It will hold all my precious completed items and photos of my adventures with It. (: I can’t wait to start filling it up.

Carry on, I fairly say to you.
I’ve no right to ponder your iniquities.
Don’t you realize I love you all the same?
For your battles, for your triumphs,
For your failures; for you.

Au revoir,

Gigi